Doubt / Trust

Today I listened to a teleclass on Doubt / Trust. I listened because I was having trouble with my headset microphone and although I could hear just fine, no one could hear me. Good thing too, because I tend to always have something to say, a comment, an example, an idea, which makes me spend my time thinking about how I am going to jump into a conversation and what I can add. Today I just listened and I got to listen to interesting things in a relaxed way.

There was a lot of discussion on "doubt" and, in the end, we reached a consensus that a little doubt is a good thing, it is there for a reason, it is a kind of survival instinct and it moves us towards change. Too much doubt can be paralyzing, like the fear of making a wrong decision that ends up as no decision at all (my speciality). Recently I felt such relief when I finally decided dates for my trip to the US this Spring (with frequent flyer points) and enrolment in a "Training of Trainers" two-day workshop in Boston (hoping that I get the FAWCO member award I applied for...). Anyway, I decided at least.

But in the end, you have to trust that you can put doubt to good use.

One "classmate" suggested an exercise in which you ask the client to bring out all the doubt they have inside, to let it fly and get it out in an exaggerated way. Then write down why you don't really want the thing you are doubting (i.e. fear of success).

Another exercise is to imagine the worst thing that could happen if your doubts came true. Then find an opportunity in this "failing".

It always comes down to choice. How to look at things, perspective shifts, whether you are going to move on or not, going to let go, take responsibilty and live.

Not changing = not living.

We also discussed whether doubt is innate or learned, and decided that it is a cycle that shifts from doubt to trust to doubt to trust -- growing to be a full adult.

Coaches can help perspective shifting from doubt (can I do it?) to trust.

Pretty intense stuff. Whew.

Homework is scary.
One thing that you are doubtful about in your life (one thing only!).
Imaging for one week that everything you do is perfect (no matter how wrong), as a perspective. See all the bad things that happen as opportunities.

Tough week!
a domani,
E

And what does this have to do with crossing cultures? Concepts of what constitutes trust (between people/institutions/society) vary with cultures, but this is a different type of trust, a trust in oneself. A Canadian, who used to live in France and was calling from her new home in China, mentioned the cultural differences in doubt -- citing the French as natural complainers. Hmmmm. need to think about this one.

Anyone have any ideas?